I first noticed Mykle Hansen when I saw the title of one of his novels and just had to read it. Help! A Bear Is Eating Me! is such an obvious subject for fiction that I am surprised it hadn’t already been explored by earlier writers like Hemingway, Richter, or even Thoreau. If you are wondering, Help! A Bear Is Eating Me! is narrated by a gent who is trapped under his SUV when the jack slips and finds himself a snack for any bears that pass by: a foot, a knee, a chunk of thigh. It may sound gruesome but in reality it’s a lot of fun. Remember, it’s fiction!
Note that rumors of a sequel involving being pooped out by a bear are unfounded, but certainly within the realm of possibility in the Bizarro world.
To have a well-rounded view of Hansen’s twisted mind, I also got a copy of a collection of his short novels called [we’re being forced to go R here], Rampaging Fuckers of Everything on the Crazy Shitting Planet of the Vomit Atmosphere. The first short novel involves a genitally challenged dweeb that finally finds a proven treatment that actually works; in fact, it works too well and eventually, let’s just say Godzilla would feel threatened. I thought the Bizarro elements in this story were silly and juvenile but the background action involving the digital world of customer service was actually quite interesting and other than one or two small items, fairly realistic. The second novel was a Bizarro slant on the old story: a woman is going to die unless an experimental method is used to reduce the doctors and send them straight into the body of the woman to eliminate a blockage. The twist on this one is that since it is an intestinal blockage, they go in the most obvious way, on foot. Then, because it is such a headline worthy event, the press is all out (or is it in?) to follow the story like “The Big Circus.” The local Starbucks even has a kiosk constructed in Ms Cuddlebottom’s rectum to keep the coffee starved reporters happy. Wonder what happens next? The final very short novel is Crazy Shitting Planet and, as the cover describes, it is a touching parable of love, friendship and feces.
Hansen has also written a story collection titled Eyeheart Everything. If you enjoy the perversity and wild imagination of the Bizarro authors, add Mykle Hansen to your list.
For those who have not experience the genre called Bizarro fiction, don’t just dismiss it as childish and obscene; Bizarro is as prone to have its clunkers as is every genre but for the most part I find Bizarro is the most imaginative and honest writing being published today.
Bizarro really started with one author, Carlton Mellick III, and has grown to an impressive catalogue from publishers such as Eraserhead Press. If you’re curious, take a peek at Bizarro Central. It is eye-opening.