I just found out that Godzilla is a liberal Democrat.
Yeah, I know: that sounds crazy and I’ll admit that it’s just a bit of mythical semiotics used to target the more gullible followers of the last guy and it would have been more honest to acknowledge that Godzilla, although having no political affiliation himself, had been indoctrinated by the Democrats to intimidate, squash, and reduce true Patriots to smoldering piles of burbling ash.
You know that there is a secret monster training site hidden in the depths of the Venezuelan rainforest and this is where Godzilla was turned into a progressive killing machine. I know it’s true because the two proud guys who discovered the site both related the same exact story under intense interrogation by a third guy, and they all wore exotic camouflage shirts with toucans and wild hibiscus’ under their bandoleers.
Godzilla wasn’t in camp when the boys stopped by but was rumored to be scarfing surfers off the coast of Orange County; however, a fine coating of fairy dust on all the trees suggested that Mothra had been nearby within the last week. By the way, I haven’t been able to corroborate the story that the origin of Covid-19 was a Democratic attack using Mothra to spread the spores of contagion initiating the great replacement of Americans sporting an IQ under 75 with penguins, thus saving the penguins from environmental destruction and decimating the Republican Party.
Take this movie I saw on HBO the other day: Godzilla vs. King Kong (or was it King Kong vs. Godzilla?). Godzilla is now a protector of humanity having chased away Monster Zero, Monster One, and Monster Number Two: Eeww!; King Kong is a lovable and effective babysitter; and a whole new planet is waiting to be discovered down a hole in Antarctica (wasn’t it in Iceland before?). Kong goes subterranean and finds a magic axe and joins up with his rival Godzilla to defeat a souped-up Mechagodzilla to save the world.
Now, does a secret Democratic monster training site in Venezuela seem too far fetched for the average deplorable to add to their long list of conspiracy theories?