Venus On the Half-Shell

VenusImagine a planet dominated by a life form that maintains the soul of all past generations, allowing one day for each past life to control both body and mind. Then since thousands of generations have lived on this planet, each would only regain control—sentient life—for a single day in hundreds and thousands of years. Now imagine a dominant life-form that arose, not from apes, but from cats. Oh, they look basically human but with strange eyes and in perpetual heat. Also, unlike cats who only have nine lives, these civilized felines have thousands of lives.

Let’s make it tougher. Imagine a world dominated by a species where the male and the female forms are very different. The females are shaped like large pyramids with many short legs and move around all day eating the grass through their underside mouths and awaiting the return of the shiftless males each night. The males are shaped like huge dirigibles (zeppelins) and spend the day floating and cavorting in the air, propelled by powerful flatulence. At night the males moor themselves to the top of the pyramid-like females where they find not only a convenient mooring post but also a feeding tube (what! cud again tonight?) and even the appropriate female organ to enjoy some sexy-time with as they eat and recuperate from a tough day chasing clouds.

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High Court Goes Gay; GOP Frets

Letter: High court goes gay; GOP frets
By Tony Bender on Jul 12, 2015 at 1:12 a.m.

Whew! Man, a guy takes a week off and look what happens.

SCOTUSI’m still sorting this out. The gist, I guess, is that America now has gay health care. I haven’t reviewed the fine print but, as I understand it, you may now marry the doctor of your choice.

Many Republicans are outraged, enraged and deranged by the way nine Druids in Washington circumvented the Constitution. Just like that time they pitched pennies in the hallway to decide the winner of the 2000 presidential election.

You don’t have to be a constitutional scholar to know how wrong it was to make a decision in that manner. These things should be decided by a field goal in the waning seconds of overtime. Or that rock/paper/scissors thing.

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Religion Is All Magical Thinking

The Amazing Randy is asked i,in an interview in Salon if he doesn’t get frustrated by the seemingly endless shams, scams, and charlatans he encounters in his quest to expose the fakes and illuminate the truth. He responds

amazing_randiWell, a bit, but just because we — as a species — will always be affected by a disease, it doesn’t automatically mean that we are going to stop monitoring or treating it. It goes without saying that it’s our civil and moral duty to stand up for the less fortunate and the victims in our society. It’s our duty to provide them with tools so they can arm themselves properly in life.

Part of the “makeup” of a large proportion of the population is due to the influence of religion, which is all magical thinking, thoroughly well organized and well established.

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Searching For Homosexual Activities in Blount County

What do you make of this?

I don’t know anything about this self-styled reporter for the Redneck News down in Alabama but I like to think that this is a brilliant satire which punctures the argument that Gay Marriage would mean the end of morality in Alabama. Nothing seems to have changed in Blount County according to Jeremy Addaway, although the suggestion that the squirrels are acting funny might warrant further investigation.