Cocaine at the Bostonia Ballroom

Cocaine Blues is a Western swing song written by T. J. “Red” Arnall, a reworking of the traditional song Little Sadie. Roy Hogshed is generally recognized as the recording artist who first made the song popular, although too many people erroneously assume it was Eric Clapton while under the effects of being unvaccinated.

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Stripper Poles In Schools

It is common knowledge that the installation of stripper poles in first grade classrooms is a nefarious plot to undermine the morals of our dear children. Oh, I admit that in some neighborhoods the stripper pole might be considered an education aide, but not in my neighborhood.

Please sign the petition I am circulating as the cornerstone of my candidacy. If elected I will personally rip all stripper poles from the sanctity of the classroom and guarantee that little Muffy and Blaine will no longer be influenced by the dark side. In some parts of the country they are even transporting our precious children in party buses complete with stripper poles and bordello lighting. Oh, they say it’s because of a dire shortage of school buses, but we know different.

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Sympathetic Magic

Wikipedia offers a general insight into the phenomenon of the Cargo Cult.

A cargo cult is an indigenist millenarian belief system in which adherents perform rituals which they believe will cause a more technologically advanced society to deliver goods. These cults were first described in Melanesia in the wake of contact with allied military forces during the Second World War.

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