Thoughts about body hair

A while back I posted a few thoughts on what apparently is a contemporary urge to manscape male body hair (see). Two things have recently reminded me of our civilization’s strange responses to common body hair.

Pubic HairFirst, I was sharing a few moments of intimacy with a lovely young woman who was balder than my three year old niece, showing all her naughty bits without even a hint of hirsute camouflage. I’m not sure I even liked this modern look but I expect it’s more hygienic. When asked, my friend indicated she would never stop shaving closely … never-ever. Being the introspective type, I began to think back to those days of yesteryear when pubic hair was a badge of maturity. Men and women, or more accurately, boys and girls, couldn’t wait until the first signs of furry decoration began to adorn their precious genitals.

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Manscaping

I learned a new word today and I may never get over it. At first, even after reading an involved description of what manscaping entailed, I still didn’t get the connection. It was a scotoma I’m sure, my mind insisting that there must a version of the word to apply to the other sex (not to limit it to only two):  femscape, perhaps. But it didn’t take too long before I realized that the analog was landscape and with this knowledge I knew just where I was going to need a retaining wall.

If you haven’t been exposed to manscaping, it involves the war on body hair which I read is close to declaring female pubic hair extinct. An article at The Daily Beast offers this explanation of manscaping:

“The modern manscaped man is a product of today’s post-mextrosexual society, where even the alpha male indulges in spa treatments and $50 Diesel boxer briefs.”

This brings many things to mind. First, is “mextrosexual” even a word? Second, what if you are the omega man and not the alpha male? And finally, how much do you have to pay for lower octane underwear?

I remember that as a youth I couldn’t wait for those early instances of body hair:  naked pubes were for babies and a hairy chest attracted the babes. Now I’m not a very hairy guy and I can understand a certain aversion to those men who might be said to wear a fur coat year-round but I have a hard time even contemplating shaving my chest, stomach, or naughty bits (being an ex-bicyclist, shaving the legs is okay). It strikes me that this excessive and unnatural hygienic technique is not universally practiced around the globe. For some reason, I just can’t imagine an Afghan terrorist stopping to whack off his pubic hair with a sharp rock and a skinning knife. But what seems especially strange is the inconsistency. If a guy needs to shave his privates to be acceptable to women, then why does he grow a mustache and often a beard. And what about the three-day growth look that seems to be so popular. I would suspect that kissing a bearded gent would result in a few scratchy hairs in the mouth too … what’s the difference?

Now that I think of it, I had my Ricky dogscaped when he went to the vet’s to get fixed and I know they shave “down there” to treat lice infestation. I’m sorry, but if I run into someone who has been manscaped, I’m afraid I will jump to conclusion and assume he had crabs … or was fixed.