Life Begins When?

It’s in more than one state which has a Republican majority (no conspiracy thinking here) but Arizona (rhymes with “looney”) has passed the law declaring that life begins officially after the menses that predates the conception. So we’re all conceivably two-weeks older than we thought, at least in Arizona. Does this mean that women are officially considered pregnant for at least 28 days? I see a new Guiness record:  a woman in Arizona was pregnant 12 times in just one year … in fact, there are two million women now trying to get their name in the Guiness Book of World Records for the very same feat.

And think of all the unwed mothers roaming around Arizona (and especially congregating at ASU). When should they register at Planned Parenthood for pre-natal care? Or did Arizona already throw Planned Parenthood out of the state? I expect the demands in the emergency rooms are going to be horrendous:  what if every woman in the state rushes in for pre-natal care after each and every period she has? I suppose all the girls at ASU are going to call their mothers and cry big tears every month and then followup with a ‘never-mind’ a couple of weeks later (they do that now? But not all of them, right?).

But I was wondering why Arizona is only considering the almost-maybe-could be quickening of life as it pertains to the female? Oklahoma had that bill that would have made it illegal to deposit sperm in anything other than the Rick Santorum Approved Vessel, but that might have been a ruse to expose the male dominated legislation to ridicule via quid pro quo. In Arizona if conception is defined as existing at the point it becomes possible for a woman to conceive, doesn’t that suggest that any form of masturbation or mis-placed deposit on the part of the male might be considered withholding life … maybe even murder? If I remember correctly, only god should be doing that.

My brain hurts. Good thing I’m old.