Romney – A Celebration of Reading

This floated in over the internet. I checked around and it seems to have been originated at a site called Addicting Info. I read it through and although I understood the satirical digs, I am afraid that I didn’t in the end consider the piece funny … sad or frightening seemed more apropos.

Top 18 Reasons You Might Want To Vote For Mitt Romney

You really prefer the craftsmanship of products that are made in China.

You also are a pathological liar, so you feel some kinship with Romney and admire his commitment to maintaining the web of deceit.

You can’t hold more than one thought in your head at the same time. For instance, when Fox News blah-blahs about the deficit, you can’t remember that it was actually George W. Bush’s legacy of war spending and tax cuts favoring the wealthy that turned a huge federal surplus into an even larger deficit.

You utterly and terribly fear the dwindling of the white majority in America.

You really believe that Romney has nothing to hide in the decades of tax returns that he refuses to release.

You’re a bit wild and unpredictable yourself, so you admire a leader who is unabashed in making dramatic changes in policy position at the drop of a hat. (Like how Romney ran as a pro-choice candidate n 1994, and then supported repeal of Roe. V. Wade starting from 2007 through this campaign.)

You believe your responsibility to be pro-life ends at birth.

When Romney said 47% of Americans are dependent “victims,” you looked at the person closest to you and realized that either they or you were, in fact, a dependent victim.

Your self-esteem is so low that you think that the President really shouldn’t be concerned about you.

You are certainly not voting for the other guy – Hussein Osama somebody — the one who believes in the climate change hoax.

After hearing about the tantrum that fake-orange Romney threw at the Univision taping, you believe he has the sass needed to stand up for Latinos.

You think any guy with a binder full of women must be a mac-daddy.

Romney’s vulgar outbursts – like yelling “Who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing?” at a teenage volunteer at the Olympics – is the kind of Presidential behavior that you admire.

You honestly think that GM and Chrysler/Jeep are outsourcing U.S. manufacturing jobs to China (even while every newspaper and the car companies themselves say that’s false, and Chrysler reports adding 1,100 U.S. jobs).

You believe so strongly that you have the right to choose whether other people have babies, that you (just like Romney) have marched uninvited into hospital rooms to demand that women not terminate pregnancies for medical reasons.

You too are going off the wheels on the (Bachmann/Palin/Beck) craaaz-ee train.

You are actively committing electoral fraud on Republicans’ behalf.

You think ‘Romnesia’ is an actual medical condition, and that Romney running for President in spite of his disease is an American success story.

When you take an objective view, they are all worthy of a used-car salesman and not a presidential candidate. Igor Volsky wrote in Think Progress:

At Last Night’s Debate: Romney Told 27 Myths In 38 Minutes

Pundits from both sides of the aisle have lauded Mitt Romney’s strong debate performance, praising his preparedness and ability to challenge President Obama’s policies and accomplishments. But Romney only accomplished this goal by repeatedly misleading viewers. He spoke for 38 minutes of the 90 minute debate and told at least 27 myths:

Go to Think Progress to read the article. My only problem was that I was getting used to the press and politicians calling a lie a lie and not being politic by referencing things like myths. But I suppose that when the GOP tells the same lies over and over again they do begin to reach mythological status.