Carton Mellick has brought together a fine collection of Bizarro tales all associated with Christmas. But please don’t get these confused with the Christmas specials the young ones love to watch each year on television: this stuff is purely for the adults in the family. The varied stories come from the warped imaginations of several excellent Bizarro authors, namely:

• Jordan Krall (Santa Claus and the Elves of Fuck)
• Jeff Burk (Frosty and the Full Monty)
• Andrew Goldfarb (Unwanted Gifts)
• Kevin L. Donihe (Two-Way Santa)
• Edmund Colell (The Christmas Turn-On)
• Cameron Pierce & Kirsten Alene (The Elf Slut Sisters)
• Kevin Shamel (Christmas Crabs)

I’m surprised that Carlton didn’t include one of his Christmas stories but you might want to check out Sausagey Santa for a classic Mellick mind bender. In the meantime, how about a horny Santa that steps out on Mrs. Claus or a drugged-out Snowman who earns his keep by dancing in a biker bar and giving snow-jobs on the side or the elf-porn about twin-sisters that just can’t say No.

Continue reading “Christmas on Crack” →