Do You Think They Won’t Do It?

Look at this blurb from a recent posting by The Onion:

Progressive Company Pays Both Men And Women 78% Of What They Should Be Earning

one percentGood joke, huh? The Onion is often spot on with their satire of our society but in this case I find it hard to believe that the job-creators have not hit upon this simple solution to the gender-pay gap. Of course it does seem to conflict with the historic position of corporations: whining that they are forced to give their top executives a few million dollars more each year in order to attract and keep top talent. I’m  surprised they have any spare change laying around to pay the employees who do all the work. One would think that between advertising, lobbying, and bribery, the major corporations would barely be able to meet the monetary demands of their own in-house one percent.

So has The Onion inadvertently released the Kraken?

First they came for the women …

If You Think You Can Talk To Your Mother Like That, Then You’ve Paid Attention To The Way I’ve Subtly Degraded Her For Years

Commentary By Jim Travis

Women in KitchenListen up, young man, because I’m only going to say this once. You have been acting more and more disrespectful to your mother lately, and frankly, she’s at the end of her rope. Between snapping rude profanities at her to making ungrateful demands, you’ve treated her more like a servant than the woman who raised you. Your mother has noticed it, I’ve noticed it, and all I have to say is that if you think you can talk to your mother like that, then you’ve certainly paid very close attention to the subtle ways in which I’ve completely torn down her sense of self-worth for years.

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When imaginative humor is both funny and sad

I live in South Carolina (and was born in North Carolina), but as usual, The Onion has translated an observation of the absurdity of this state into an equally absurd fiction about this state:  they’re both funny and sad at the same time.

South Carolina Defends Right To Fly Hardee’s Flag From State Capitol
NEWS • News • ISSUE 49•14 • Apr 1, 2013

COLUMBIA, SC—Faced with mounting pressure from critics who say it sends the wrong message about the state, residents of South Carolina have mounted a vociferous defense of their right to fly the Hardee’s flag from the top of their capitol building, reports confirmed Thursday.

According to many South Carolinians, the flag, which prominently features a single smiling star and the phrase “Hardee’s Charbroiled Thickburgers,” signifies an important part of their cultural legacy, and many have expressed anger over demands that legislators remove it from public display.

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Only In America

Yes, this is a headline from the current issue of The Onion but in humor there is often truth and insight:

Nation Horrified To Learn About War In Afghanistan While Reading Up On Petraeus Sex Scandal

I have listened to commentaries about this sex scandal and even discussed it with friends over dinner or a cup of coffee. But the theme that interested me most and which I wanted to pursue was whether or not this country was obsessed with sex and needed desperately to grow up. I had to work out my thoughts and have concluded that Obama made a mistake in accepting the resignation of General Petraeus. It is outdated and specious thinking that suggests foreign spies are using hot women to steal government secrets:  sometimes sex is just sex.

I also agree with the people who point out that a (perhaps unthinking) reliance on the secrecy and security of Gmail might fly in the face of Petraeus’s reputation of being smart and his position as the head spy in this country.

I don’t want to sound sexist but rather than uncovering a weakness in the government and the military, this whole story involving a couple of Generals and a couple of women and a questionable FBI investigation seems to boil down to just a few facts:  some women are highly attracted to men with power (I don’t buy the uniform cliché) and most men lose the ability to think straight when confronted by sex and the FBI is still prone to spend time and money on silliness as long as it makes the CIA look bad.

Let’s drop the whole story, get out of Afghanistan without delay, and see if the Republican controlled House of Representatives is interested in doing anything to help the country revive over the next four years.